So, you’ve met the right person, and you are starting to think about the future with him or her.
However, long-term relationships are fraught with peril and pitfalls, so how can you be sure that the two of you will last?
Well,
while there is no generic guidebook that works for everyone, there are
certain milestones that you should strive to achieve together that will
help secure your bond and keep it strong even in bad times.
When
most people think of long term goals to set with their partner, they
imagine things like kids, a house, and other rather superficial items
like that.
However, those are not the key to happiness and
togetherness; otherwise, everyone who bought a house together would
remain coupled forever.
Thus,
before you can start to imagine different goals for you and your
partner, you first need to realize that there is no right answer here.
Even the ideas that we are going to provide should be more of an inspiration, rather than a checklist.
Overall,
the most important thing is that you guys are in it together, meaning
that things like communication, trust, and love are always going to be
the glue that holds your relationship tight.
Goal: Turn Me Into We
As individuals, it’s in our nature to make plans for ourselves on a regular basis.
However,
when you’re focused on building a long term relationship with someone
else, then you have to ensure that he or she is included, even in
seemingly minute details.
At first, this may seem like you’re
creating a bubble of co-dependence, but the fact is that opening up
about such things should empower both of you and build a stronger, more
stable foundation.
This way, you are both apprised of what’s happening in each other’s lives, and you can make plans together whenever possible.
The
goal shouldn’t be that your partner knows where you are at all times,
but instead that he or she is not guessing what’s happening or thinking
one thing when something else is really going on.
For example, if
your partner wants to surprise you with dinner but you decided to grab a
bite on the way home, then a nice gesture can turn into feelings of
regret and disappointment.
In the end, your goal should be to involve your partner in your daily activities, even if he or she is not a participant.
This shows a greater feeling of trust and respect between you two and ensures that you are always on the same page.
Goal: Learn to Work Together
Even
though most people think that love is all you need to get through
anything, the fact is that you can be madly in love with someone and
they can still get on your nerves.
Just because you feel deep
adoration for a person does not mean that you can experience stressful
situations together and come out unscathed.
With this goal, the point is to learn how to communicate and understand each other in a variety of circumstances.
Usually,
if you are not quite compatible under stress then it can lead to
arguments and frustration, but you shouldn’t be discouraged.
Instead, communicate and learn from your experiences so that you can become a better team over time.
For example, perhaps one of you is more analytical, and the other is more creative.
So,
when dealing with stress, you can play to each other’s strengths and
come out with positive results, rather than a heated argument.
Goal: Develop Complete Trust
Jealousy
and insecurity can kill a relationship insanely fast, so if you are
thinking of enduring the long haul, then you have to figure out a way to
get over it.
While trust is something that is earned over time, your goal should be to encourage honesty and openness with each other.
Overall,
if you feel comfortable enough with your partner to tell him or her
anything and everything, then that shows an incredible amount of trust.
Thus,
you should work on communication and sharing as much as possible with
each other, and avoid hiding anything, no matter how insignificant.
This could be the toughest goal yet, but it’s a necessary step if you want to strengthen your bond over time.
Goal: Become Best Friends
All too often we act differently around our friends than we do around our lovers.
Part
of the reason is that there is less weight to each interaction with our
pals, meaning that we feel more comfortable opening up.
To put it
into context, if we don’t see our friends for a couple of weeks, we
don’t feel betrayed or hurt by it, but we might not feel the same if it
happened with our SO.
Thus, one goal that you should strive to
achieve is the ability to be as casual and open with your partner as you
are with your friends.
After all, this is the person with whom you will be sharing your life, so why act differently around him or her?
Again, this can take some time, particularly if you weren’t friends first, but it should be something to work on regularly.
A good way to get the ball rolling is to plan fun activities together, not just “date nights.”
Remove the pretext of romance and love and just learn to enjoy each other’s company and have a good time.
The more that you can do that, the stronger your foundation will be.
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