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    Wednesday, 10 January 2018

    How you can keep friends when you are in a relationship

    For most of us, being in a relationship is an incredible feeling, which means that we tend to put our significant other above everyone else in our life.

    Since the nature of your relationship with your SO is different than those with your friends, it’s easy to start neglecting the people you hung out with before you became a couple.
    However, while that may be the case for a lot of relationships, we would argue that maintaining your previous friendships should be just as important as making time for your SO.
    Overall, you shouldn’t make your boyfriend or girlfriend the only person in your life.
    The reason for this is that if things don’t go as planned, then you could wind up with a bunch of alienated friends in the end.
    So, with that in mind, let’s go over some details to remember when trying to maintain relationships with both friends and lovers.
    This is going to be a bit of a balancing act, but if you make sure to go about it the right way (Pro Tip: communication is critical), then it shouldn’t be too complicated.

    Step One: Introduce Everyone

    One of the biggest reasons that our SO’s can monopolize our time is because they don’t know our friends.However, if everyone gets along and knows each other well, then it’s much easier to incorporate your friendships into your relationship.
    Having your friends meet your SO is good for a few reasons.
    First, it breaks down the barrier between all of you and opens lines of communication.
    This way, conversations don’t always have to have you as the middle party, and no one is left wondering who a particular person is.
    But what if they don’t get along?
    This is the biggest problem with maintaining friendships while being part of a couple.
    If your SO doesn’t like your friends, then what can you do?
    Hopefully, things won’t escalate to the point where your boyfriend or girlfriend forbids you from seeing your friends, but even if that does happen, do you want to be with someone that controlling?
    Overall, not everyone has to be best friends with each other, but there should be a mutual feeling of respect.
    Your SO should respect you enough to spend time with people that he or she doesn’t like, and your friends should do the same regarding your new mate.

    Step Two: Set Boundaries

    First and foremost, you should build some alone time into your relationship.
    Even though this can be difficult when things are still new and exciting, it will be better for both of you if you can spend time apart without risking anything.
    The most prominent hurdle that you will have to overcome is trust, as that is usually what causes problems in the first place.
    However, if you can be open and honest with each other about your extracurricular activities, then trust shouldn’t be too hard.
    What you don’t want to do, however, is lie about anything regarding your friends. This is particularly the case if your SO doesn’t like them for any reason.
    If you start hiding them, then it will only lead to bigger problems down the road.
    While the specifics of your boundaries will depend on the nature of your relationship, you should be able to talk about it before anything happens.
    For example, if it starts to feel like you’re neglecting your SO for your friends, you should be able to talk about it and adjust accordingly, rather than letting the problem simmer.

    Step Three: Make Mutual Friends

    Ideally, you’ll be able to incorporate your current crop of friends into your relationship, but if that doesn’t work out, then you want to try to and find other couples that you can see with your SO.
    This way, you can still manage friendships while also including your partner, which will reduce the risk of neglect or resentment.
    When making mutual friends, however, it’s imperative that you are both on the same page.
    For example, if you love them, but your SO hates them, then it will still cause problems down the line.

    Step Four: Communicate With Everyone

    In the end, maintaining friendships and a relationship with your SO can feel like a lot of work, but you have to put in the effort to make sure that things don’t break down.
    It’s crucial that you talk to everyone involved so that they can all be on the same page at all times.
    Hopefully, everyone will be cool with each other, and there won’t be any problems with anything, but you can’t expect that to happen.
    Instead, just make sure that the lines of communication are always open, and if your SO starts to get upset, talk to him or her about what you can do to compromise.
    Overall, you should be able to have friends and be a couple at the same time, but you just want to take the time to make sure that no one feels neglected.

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