How do you tell a girl you love her? These days, it seems like it’s
hard to find true love. So many of us are looking for something casual
or fleeting that it makes it difficult to tell if your relationship with
a person is genuine or merely a matter of convenience.
Still,
when you do have that strong feeling, and you are ready to say the L
word, it can feel like a ton of pressure, especially if you don’t know
how the other person feels towards you. As a result, you may be too
nervous to say it, but that would be a mistake.
Unless you are
thinking of expressing yourself to a girl who doesn’t even know you
exist, then odds are it’s better to throw it out there than bottling it
up inside. Don’t be afraid to say how you feel for fear of rejection, as
it’s always better to be up front about such things.
That being
said, here are some tips and tricks to make sure that you do it in the
right way without making it seem too forward or awkward in the process.
Is This Love?
First
and foremost, it’s imperative that you analyze your feelings to
understand what they are. For some people, infatuation is the same as
love, but the problem with that is that when your initial feeling wears
off, there is usually nothing to support them in the long run. The best
way to figure out if you really love someone is to think about all of
the negative aspects of your relationship and see how it affects your
perception. Have you spent enough time with this person to know how she
is like all the time? Are there any quirks or personality traits that
turn you off? If so, are they deal breakers?
Simply
put, if you want to make sure that you are really in love, then you
should try your hardest to make her as unattractive as possible and see
if you still want to be with her. If so, then you are most likely ready
to say “I love you.”
How Does She Feel?
Unfortunately,
as much as you can think about and analyze your own feelings, it’s
impossible to know exactly what is on her mind. As such, you want to try
to figure out if she is feeling the same way without making it obvious.
The reason for that is because if you express yourself and she doesn’t
reciprocate, that could change your relationship dynamic.
No
matter what, though, you have to understand that she is a person too
with thoughts and feelings, and just because you have a particular idea
of what your relationship is doesn’t mean that she feels the same way.
The most important thing is that you respect her feelings and wishes
regardless of what happens. Ideally, she’ll feel the same way about you,
but if not, don’t try to force anything.
Of interest: a scientific gender view of saying I love you from Psychology Today.
Best Methods for Saying I Love You
Once
you’ve worked up the nerve to take the plunge, how should you bring it
up? If you want to make it sound genuine, then you have to wait for the
right time and place; otherwise, it will make the sentiment feel tacky
or fake. In the end, you want her to understand where you’re coming from
so that she knows how you truly feel about her.
In Person
Overall,
the best way to say it is to her face so that you can watch her
reaction and talk about it afterward. The most important thing to
remember here is that you want to be as open and honest about your
feelings and you don’t want to seem like it’s an afterthought or that
you’re rushing to say it. With that in mind, don’t blurt it out but also
don’t hype it up too much. Too often we tend to over talk when trying
to say something that could be uncomfortable, but in this case, brevity
is your best option so that you can focus more on the aftermath than the
buildup.
Pro Tips
- Look her in the eyes when you say it
- Make sure that she understands that you’re saying it for real, rather than as a platitude
- Give her time to process, so don’t rush to follow up with questions or an explanation
- Be honest about your feelings
Romantic Gesture
Another
great way to say “I love you” is to do it with an action as well as
your words. However, this can be a tricky situation depending on your
relationship, so you will want to take this route if things are already
intimate or romantic between the two of you. If you’re “just friends”
and you’re trying to take things to the next level, a romantic dinner or
love serenade can backfire quickly if she doesn’t reciprocate. In the
end, a grand gesture is an excellent way to show her how you feel as
well as make sure she understands how much you’re willing to do to be
with her.
Pro Tips
- Make it a surprise, but don’t put a lot of pressure on her (such as doing it in front of people)
- Keep it straightforward; don’t go overboard
- Focus on what makes her special and unique, rather than something generic (bouquet of flowers, for example)
Handwritten Letter
Finally,
another way to let her know how you feel is to write a love letter to
her. If you are afraid that you’ll stumble over your words or that
you’ll ruin the moment, a letter is a great way to express yourself
while giving her time to process the information and react on her own
time. In the end, however, it’s much better to give her the letter in
person and have her read it in front of you instead of delivering it to
her and waiting for a response. The purpose of a letter is to articulate
your feelings, not to put distance between you.
Pro Tips
- Write several drafts to make sure that the final result is clean and polished
- Keep it short and simple and to the point
- Make sure that she knows what the letter is about before handing it to her
In
the end, saying “I love you” can be a wonderful and magical experience.
Even if she doesn’t say it back, the important thing is that you took a
chance and went for it. It’s better to express yourself honestly rather
than regret not saying anything later on.
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