We all want our significant others to be happy. We care about them
and their well-being, so when they’re upset, it makes us feel bad. As
such, it’s natural to want to cheer them up and make them feel good
again, but that’s not always an easy task.
When it comes to
girlfriends, cheering her up can be challenging to say the least.
Depending on the situation, it may be as simple as talking to her about
the issue, or it could take a while to figure out what’s happening
before you can even worry about correcting the problem.
So, with
that in mind, we wanted to give you some insight in how to make your
girlfriend feel better. Whether she’s stressed out, angry, or sad,
utilize this advice to cheer her up and get her back on her feet.
Step One: Understand What’s Going On
The
first thing to remember is that every woman is different. What might
work for one girl will make matters worse for another. For example, if
she’s mad at you, then buying her chocolates and flowers are not
necessarily going to smooth things over.
Thus, the most crucial
thing you can do first is assess the situation and figure out what’s
going on from her perspective. To you, it may seem like she’s upset or
pissed off when really she’s just lost in thought or remembering
something sad from her past.
When
approaching her, don’t make any assumptions. If you do, then you will
probably make things worse as you’re trying to fix a problem that may or
may not exist.
The best thing to do is talk to her and see if she will open up to you. Phrases like the following are ideal.
“I can tell that something’s wrong. Do you want to talk about it?”
“It feels like you’re upset about something. What’s going on?”
The
reason that these are the best way to broach the subject is that it
doesn’t pressure her to say anything and it also shows insight on your
part. Rather than saying bluntly “what’s wrong?” you’re allowing her to
open up and share with you.
One thing to remember as well is that
if she doesn’t want to talk about it, let it be. If she seems hesitant
(which is something different), then you can prod her a little bit.
Usually, girls don’t want to burden others with their problems, so they
won’t come out with it right away. However, let her know that you really
want to know what’s going on and give her some space to come out.
Step Two: Listen, Don’t Talk
Too
often, we tend to offer advice or share similar stories when trying to
cheer someone up. However, this makes the situation all about us, even
if our goal is to help, not sabotage the conversation.
The most
important thing you can do when she’s opening up is listen and
understand. Wait until she’s finished before offering any solutions, and
make sure that you’re clear on why she’s upset or angry.
In many
cases, the act of sharing the problem can be a great way to make things
better. Talking about it out loud releases some of the pressure and lets
her get it off her chest. As such, you don’t want to push it back in by
interjecting or interrupting.
This is especially vital if the
issue is about you. If she’s angry or upset at something you did, now is
not the time to get defensive. That will only make things worse and
create a deeper rift between you. Swallow your pride and let her explain
her side before you say yours. This will allow you to have a better,
more productive conversation.
Step Three: Work Out a Solution
Again,
each girl is different, and each situation is going to vary, so there’s
not a one-size-fits-all method to employ here. Thus, you may want to
try one of these strategies based on the underlying issue that made her
upset in the first place.
- If she’s angry (not at you): let her vent, then help her take her mind off things. Give her a massage while she’s venting so that she can relax and let her stress melt away.
- If she’s sad: comfort her by being there for her physically. Hold her hand or hug her to provide support and stability. If she wants to change the subject, then do so, and try to talk about more positive things.
- If she’s stressed: a massage and a glass of wine are perfect for this occasion. Listen to her and tell her that you’ll take care of her. Then take her out to eat.
- If she’s mad at you: talk through the problem and figure out what you can do to make things better. Apologizing is always appreciated, but only if it’s a) genuine, and b) specific. A generic “I’m sorry” isn’t going to mean anything if you don’t know why you’re saying it.
In the end, girls like
to talk about their problems and share them with those that are close to
them. Unlike guys who bottle their emotions, women are much better at
problem-solving because they address them head-on.
As such, be
there for her and let her share herself with you and don’t be afraid to
open up to her. A healthy relationship is built on trust and
communication, but it takes two to make it work.
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