How do I cheer up my girlfriend?

We all want our significant others to be happy. We care about them and their well-being, so when they’re upset, it makes us feel bad. As such, it’s natural to want to cheer them up and make them feel good again, but that’s not always an easy task.

When it comes to girlfriends, cheering her up can be challenging to say the least. Depending on the situation, it may be as simple as talking to her about the issue, or it could take a while to figure out what’s happening before you can even worry about correcting the problem.

So, with that in mind, we wanted to give you some insight in how to make your girlfriend feel better. Whether she’s stressed out, angry, or sad, utilize this advice to cheer her up and get her back on her feet.

Step One: Understand What’s Going On

The first thing to remember is that every woman is different. What might work for one girl will make matters worse for another. For example, if she’s mad at you, then buying her chocolates and flowers are not necessarily going to smooth things over.

Thus, the most crucial thing you can do first is assess the situation and figure out what’s going on from her perspective. To you, it may seem like she’s upset or pissed off when really she’s just lost in thought or remembering something sad from her past.

When approaching her, don’t make any assumptions. If you do, then you will probably make things worse as you’re trying to fix a problem that may or may not exist.

The best thing to do is talk to her and see if she will open up to you. Phrases like the following are ideal.

“I can tell that something’s wrong. Do you want to talk about it?”

“It feels like you’re upset about something. What’s going on?”

The reason that these are the best way to broach the subject is that it doesn’t pressure her to say anything and it also shows insight on your part. Rather than saying bluntly “what’s wrong?” you’re allowing her to open up and share with you.

One thing to remember as well is that if she doesn’t want to talk about it, let it be. If she seems hesitant (which is something different), then you can prod her a little bit. Usually, girls don’t want to burden others with their problems, so they won’t come out with it right away. However, let her know that you really want to know what’s going on and give her some space to come out.

Step Two: Listen, Don’t Talk

Too often, we tend to offer advice or share similar stories when trying to cheer someone up. However, this makes the situation all about us, even if our goal is to help, not sabotage the conversation.

The most important thing you can do when she’s opening up is listen and understand. Wait until she’s finished before offering any solutions, and make sure that you’re clear on why she’s upset or angry.

In many cases, the act of sharing the problem can be a great way to make things better. Talking about it out loud releases some of the pressure and lets her get it off her chest. As such, you don’t want to push it back in by interjecting or interrupting.

This is especially vital if the issue is about you. If she’s angry or upset at something you did, now is not the time to get defensive. That will only make things worse and create a deeper rift between you. Swallow your pride and let her explain her side before you say yours. This will allow you to have a better, more productive conversation.

Step Three: Work Out a Solution

Again, each girl is different, and each situation is going to vary, so there’s not a one-size-fits-all method to employ here. Thus, you may want to try one of these strategies based on the underlying issue that made her upset in the first place.

• If she’s angry (not at you): let her vent, then help her take her mind off things. Give her a massage while she’s venting so that she can relax and let her stress melt away.
• If she’s sad: comfort her by being there for her physically. Hold her hand or hug her to provide support and stability. If she wants to change the subject, then do so, and try to talk about more positive things.
• If she’s stressed: a massage and a glass of wine are perfect for this occasion. Listen to her and tell her that you’ll take care of her. Then take her out to eat.
• If she’s mad at you: talk through the problem and figure out what you can do to make things better. Apologizing is always appreciated, but only if it’s a) genuine, and b) specific. A generic “I’m sorry” isn’t going to mean anything if you don’t know why you’re saying it.

In the end, girls like to talk about their problems and share them with those that are close to them. Unlike guys who bottle their emotions, women are much better at problem-solving because they address them head-on.

As such, be there for her and let her share herself with you and don’t be afraid to open up to her. A healthy relationship is built on trust and communication, but it takes two to make it work.