These days, the word “love” is thrown around a lot.
You love
the way your slippers feel, you love your favorite team, and you love
your dog, but this kind of love is different than romantic feelings.
Being “in love” with someone is much different than “loving” someone.
Although
these two sentiments can get mixed quite often, it’s imperative to
understand the distinction so that you don’t fall into the trap of
thinking that you’re in love when it’s really just a temporary emotion.
Fortunately,
there are tons of different ways to tell when you’re “in love” with
someone, all you have to do is pay attention to the signs.
To
help you get started, we’ve even compiled a list of them so that you
can determine whether your love runs deep or if it’s more superficial
than that.
The Basics of Love
The thing about being in love with someone is that it hits you in waves.
At
first, everything is new and exciting, which heightens the experiences
you share and makes it seem like each moment is magical.
However,
this will fade after a while, so it’s crucial that your love can weather
such low points so that you can reclaim the high.
So, with that in mind, we’re going to start with the first signs that you might be in love with someone.
Right now, since everything is still fresh, your feelings will be in overdrive.
At this point, it’s imperative that you can take a step back and assess your emotions to determine how valid they really are.
You Think About Him or Her Constantly
Love is like a drug.
Literally, it’s like a drug.
When
people were hooked up to brain machines and shown pictures of their
lovers, their gray matter lit up like a Christmas tree, just as it would
if they were taking a hit of dope.
As such, it’s natural for your new SO to occupy your thoughts.
However, if you want to know that it’s not just the “drugs” talking, think about how you think about him or her.
That sounds a bit weird, but try to assess the kinds of thoughts you have.
- Are you picturing the future with your new SO?
- Do you think about his or her sexy body?
- Do you miss him or her all the time?
Overall, when it’s real love, your thoughts will tend to focus on things that matter most to you.
You’re not just thinking about the rush of being with them, but you’re picturing how things will go between you over time.
You Ignore the Negatives
Being in love means that you think more about the positive aspects of your lover than anything negative.
Even if he or she has a few annoying habits, they are washed away by wave after wave of loving feelings.
Usually, you can tell when your feelings change when you start to focus more on the bad things than the good.
Once that happens, it often means that you’re ready for a change. So, if that shift doesn’t occur, you’re in love town.
The Challenges
As
we mentioned, most people get a flutter when they meet that someone
special, but that doesn’t mean that they can go the distance.
There’s a reason that most marriages end in divorce.
The
couple gets married while they’re still riding the high, and then when
things calm down, they realize that they don’t like each other as much
(see focusing on the negatives above).
So, that means that you have to put your love to the test.
If you can come out the other side without wanting to break up, then it’s a good sign that your feelings are genuine.
Fights Don’t Matter
Regardless of your relationship status, all couples fight.
This is a constant of the universe, and it shouldn’t be absent from your interactions.
However,
those couples that are destined to make it will not feel torn apart by
fights, but rather they will bring them closer together.
Overall, if fighting seems to weaken your relationship, then it’s probably not built on love.
Your Feelings Get Deeper
Once you hit that first lull, it can be a bit of a shock.
Since
it doesn’t come at you all at once, it can be jarring when you finally
realize that the spark is not as hot as it once was.
With love, however, that spark will change over time into something else.
Rather than a white-hot passionate flame, it becomes a warm ember that brings comfort to your relationship.
As you learn more about each other and spend more time together, your emotions should mature along with your relationship.
If
you find yourself yearning for that passionate spark, though, it could
mean that you’re not interested in settling into a more comfortable
situation.
Unrequited Love
Finally, one crucial thing to remember is that true love requires two people to make it work.
You
could be in love with someone who doesn’t even know that you exist, but
that’s not the same as if you both feel the same way about each other.
Although
you can’t always help how you feel about a person, it’s imperative that
you understand that he or she may not reciprocate, regardless of how
deep your love is.
So, just keep in mind that your feelings alone can’t make a relationship work.
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